www.zombiesdontrun.blogspot.com/thegreenmonsterreview

Review by: Chuck Conry

Dirtctors: Nolan Ball, Bryan Roberts

The Prolouge:
Oh boy..I was in the middle of a pretty good streak of independent horror films up until I decided to watch The Green Monster last night. A movie that had very strong potential..It had a good plot..at first..but then dwindles into some of the most mind boggling directions I have ever seen.

The Movie:
Let me see if I can string this all together here..Two crazy people who run a store by the name of Gerald and Molly kill people toss them in a dumpster (called The Green Monster) then they make food out of the people..That right there would be OK but you also got to add in they make wish hamburgers that can bring the dead back and after that it just gets so weird and odd that I can't fully comprehend what the hell I just watched.
The movie opens OK enough with a girl having a baby in the bathroom of a store. That grabs your attention however the bad GCI comes into play like it does time and time again in the movie. Now don't get me wrong, there IS some good gore but it's like 5% of the movie's gore with the other 95% being CGI..bad bad bad CGI.
The best part of the movie is Gerald and Molly (played by Edward X. Young and Colleen Cohan) but even they seem out of place in their own movie. Both would fit in well in a Rob Zombie movie as Molly seems to channel a bit too much of Momma Firefly at times in this thing. The acting from everyone else is nothing to right home about but Nathaniel Sylva who plays Tyler does a great job and is the only sympathetic character in the whole film.
One thing that also bugs me about this film is the fact that I THINK it's supposed to be a black comedy. I say think because it's hard to tell. The comedy doesn't really kick in until 40 minutes in the movie. Could this be due to the movie having two directors?? Also there are far far too many things in this movie that don't make a lick of sense..at all! And it's not in the cool Donnie Darko kinda way, it's in the "I don't know what the hell is going on" kinda way. There's just too many plot holes here to really latch on to it.

The Conclusion:
I don't like hating on movies but come on folks! What the hell was this?? There are good and bad ways to make any kinda movie you want to make and this one just seems to lean towards the bad way.

The gore could have saved it had they used REAL gore and not CGI..which I hate. Is is really cheaper to have awful looking CGI blood spraying around instead of syrup?

Overall Rating:
(4/10)